Sexual Harassment Is Not Okay
Sexual harassment is never acceptable. Not in private. Not in public. Not when the person doing it holds a position of influence, authority, or public trust.
It does not become less serious because the first message was laughed off. It does not become acceptable, because the recipient tried to give the other person an off-ramp. It does not become a private joke, once the recipient has clearly and repeatedly said no. And it does not become justified, when the rejection is followed by sustained online attacks or berating.
When someone continues after being told no, the conduct is no longer ambiguous. It is a choice. When that pattern is followed by retaliation or public degradation, the harm multiplies. Victims are left managing not only the original advances but also the secondary campaign against them.
In a community, this standard must be clear and consistent. Positions on planning boards, councils, or other public bodies carry responsibility. Those roles exist to serve the public interest, not to create leverage or protect personal misconduct. The same rules that apply to private citizens apply with greater force to people who exercise official influence over land use, development, and local policy.
The proper response is simple and non-negotiable:
- No means no.
- Continued contact after a clear rejection is not persistence; it is disregard.
- Online attacks after rejection are not free speech in the ordinary sense; they are often a form of pressure and punishment.
- Victims retain the right to decide whether, when, and how their experiences are disclosed. That decision belongs to them alone.
Communities that tolerate this behavior, minimize it, or treat it as political theater erode the basic expectation that people can participate in public life without being subjected to unwanted sexual advances or subsequent retaliation. Accountability does not require a public spectacle. It requires that the conduct itself be recognized for what it is and that institutions treat it accordingly.
Sexual harassment is not okay. Full stop.